Too long we've been denying
by stephlouise
Summary: Set in and after season 2 finale. Damon and Elena mostly, what I think will happen in Season 3
1. It's just the beginning

"It's okay to love them both. I did" My heart sunk as her words hit me. Stefan. What have I done, I became the one thing I didn't ever want to be, Katherine.

My eyes collided with Damon's as she left and the colour began fading into his face once more making him healthy driving the poison from his body, from his heart.

"Elena" Damon went to move from where he leaned on his bed half trying to prop himself up among the pillows and sheets where he laid. Damon staggered on his arms and I rushed to his side carefully laying him down again making sure he rested.

"I need to see Stefan" Damon breathed in staggered breaths clutching his arm where the bite first was and lifting it softly exposing the place where the bite had been, there now was a faint mark softly closing up and the shrunken bruised veins returning to a normal state around it. It was almost healed, Damon was cured he was okay.

"He's with Klaus Damon, he left with Klaus. You need to rest for now we have time, Stefan can wait for now, Rest." I pushed softly to lie Damon down again but he pushed up angry and was off the bed in a flash watching me carefully the way a lion looks at a gazelle or antelope.

"Damon you need to rest" I made my way towards him slowly keeping my eyes firmly locked onto his, now was not the time to play the good guy and die saving Stefan, I had almost lost Damon already today I would not lose him again, not now.

"He's my brother Elena and he's your Boyfriend, the love of your life, you only reason to exist" Damon spat, he was acting the way he always does I let him in and he pushes me away.

"Damon please" I laid my hands on his arms and he calmed immediately but remained tense looking anywhere but at my eyes.

"Damon look at me" I asked my voice pained as the tears rolled down my face and Damon locked eyes with me raising one hand to wipe away my tears, I laid my head into his hand staring into his bright blue eyes.

"Thank you Elena, for not leaving me. Even though it was incredibly stupid of you, you could have been hurt" Damon spoke softly gliding his fingers past my cheek and down my neck to where the bite was from earlier.

"You're Welcome" I whispered, Damon stopped moving his fingers and looked from my eyes to my lips, I knew he like I was, was remembering the kiss I gave to him in the moments I thought I would lose him forever. I knew now how many times it felt like he had lost me every time I had told him he had lost me forever and when it was reversed I couldn't imagine living a day without Damon near me. Damon moved in slowly keeping his gaze with me, the need I felt now was stronger than any other I needed Damon. Feeling like I didn't have him and that he might have been out of my life forever just magnified the love I had for him already.

Damon stopped leaving his lips inches from mine I knew now he was regretting it and about the times he had kissed me and I had rejected him altogether, the times that sparked him losing me. I reached up to Damon staring him full in his eyes and I kissed him pressing my soft lips against his. Damon responded slowly taking his time to savour me like I was doing to him, the kiss was gentle, sweet and needy but I needed Damon. I traced the bottom of Damons lip with my tongue and he opened his mouth willingly letting me in, my hands immediately locked in Damon's hair as his hands moved to rest on my waist tracing soft circles along the fabric of my shirt.

Damon slowly pulled away from me leaning his forehead against mine breathing heavily the same as me. I opened my mouth to speak but Damon once again placed his lips softly on mine before leaning against my forehead again.

"Damon I..." Damon put a hand on my cheek making my lose my words just his touch sent butterfly's to my stomach and sparks along my body igniting every place they touched.

"You are not Katherine, nor will you ever be Katherine" With that he moved and gestured towards the door for me to leave.

"I need a shower, and you need some sleep. Just go to a guest room and make yourself comfortable" Damon didn't look at me again and turned away from me not watching as I left closing the door behind me.

As soon as the door was closed I sighed staring between the doors at different points of the hallway, other rooms I had never visited, Stefan's room and Damon's room behind me. I walked to Stefan's room inhaling the air as I opened the door it smelt of Stefan the sweet natural smell that he always brought with him. I dropped onto his bed that once again never looked like he slept in it, I couldn't help compare the way in which Stefan's room was full of memories and old fashioned shelves, books and boxes to Damon's room where it was black just like his wardrobe choices, the stylish layout and simplistic and the soft bed sheets and walk in bathroom.

Dropping onto Stefan's bed I laid staring longingly at the doorway I don't know what I was waiting for but here I was just waiting, I couldn't sleep because no arm's were there to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay when it wasn't. There was nobody to fix my life for me anymore, no-one to tell me what to do and forgive me for the mistakes I made.

I remembered the last words Stefan said to me,

"Listen the other night when Damon was helping Tyler something happened, Tyler started to transform and Damon was bitten."

"He told me not to tell you but I figured if you wanted to talk to him. I wouldn't wait" It was like in that moment he knew Stefan knew that I had feelings for Damon and he was willing to let me act on them just like I haven't been doing because of him.

"Go talk to him, tell him there's still hope" I remember him saying it as I hugged him, it felt like goodbye and I suppose now it was our goodbye.

The way I knew in that moment I loved them both was like being hit by a steam train going full speed ahead, I knew that if it was Damon's last moments I needed him to know how much I cared about him and how much I had come to love him.


	2. I need you close to me

**Disclaimer: The Vampire diaries never has and never will belong to me, belongs to the CW AND L.**

I was stuck in between a love for two men as equally as good as each other. I wasn't Katherine I could keep repeating and repeating it to myself but it never went away even as I slept over the covers in Stefan's room or when I first opened my eyes in the morning, it was inevitable. There I was still lying on Stefan's bed after getting dressed and showered waiting for him to come through the door and pick me up and kiss me and tell me he forgives me and that it's all going to be okay when it's not but he wouldn't ever come and do that again, ever. He was gone, with Klaus.

"Elena" Damon knocked on the closed bedroom door and my heart skipped a beat.

"Come in" My voice was raspy and quiet as I spoke and sat up when he walked in dressed in his same black everyday ensemble minus the leather Jacket.

"Damon I..." I trailed off; I couldn't justify or say a thing to the man in front of me. I did kiss him twice, I did lie to him, I did do the one thing I didn't want to do. I was Katherine.

"So how do we find Stefan?" I asked squaring my shoulders and staring into his blue eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself frowning slightly.

"Find Katherine first, see what the bitch knows" He muttered putting up his hard faced mask.

"She saved your life Damon" I said softly, he couldn't hate her for that.

"One good thing doesn't redeem a lifetime of bad" He wasn't talking about Katherine when he said that he was talking about himself, he was thinking he deserved to die.

"You didn't deserve to die Damon, Nobody does" I spoke softly moving closer to him, to comfort him or to comfort myself I didn't really know.

"Elena, it's because of me, Stefan's gone because of me. Damn it he shouldn't have saved me." Damon was shouting a scowl on his face and his eyes darkened.

"You would have done the same" I grabbed his hands and he stared down at our entwined fingers.

"It's my fault Elena, You're... Stefan's gone and I'm to blame"

"It's not your fault Damon" I moved closer to him and tears fell down my face. His arms enveloped me and I wrapped mine around him loving the comfort he was bringing me and the sorrow he was taking away.

"It's not your fault either" He breathed into my hair kissing my head softly, I smiled into his chest and dropped my arm's from his waist as he stepped away from me.

"Thank you" I breathed.

"Come on let's get you home" He held you a hand for me to take and I took it keeping my hand in his, he was taking away the pain.

When we pulled in front of the house Damon dropped his hand from the car wheel, I knew no Jenna would be there to glare at Damon or greet me or be her bubbly self no matter how much I hoped the house would feel empty. Damon released my hand and walked around to the other side opening the door for me slowly and extending his hand to help me out, his fingers were cool and comforting in mine and I didn't want to let go.

We walked hand in hand to the door, Damon knocked and Alaric came to the door looking puzzled at Damon.

"I thought you were dying?" Rick said moving aside to let us in.

"Cured, Klaus' blood, that little bitch Katherine decided she owed me." Damon muttered stepping in pulling me in tow.

"We need to talk now, get everyone here pronto" Damon snapped dragging me into the front door and sitting down on the sofa, I sat down next to him and he put his arm over my shoulder while grabbing my hand and entwining it back with his. It felt too intimate but I needed this and I know Damon did too.

"Everyone's on their way" Rick came back into the room followed by Jeremy they both sat down opposite Damon and I. Nobody spoke but Jer glanced at Damon and I with a frown.

Minutes later there was a knock at the door and Alaric let everyone in, Bonnie and Caroline were there and entered the room quietly both looking at Damon then around the room at each other.

"Okay I guess you all wonder why I'm alive" Damon started with a smirk twiddling with my fingers unconsciously as he addressed everyone.

"Katherine gave me Klaus' blood which cured the werewolf bite, Stefan is now with Klaus as he decided to play the hero and sign up to a decade contract eating sorority girls to save me. Any questions?" Damon sighed deeply.

"So Stefan's with Klaus" Caroline asked.

"Yes thanks' for stating the obvious Vampire Barbie. We need to find him, Broom Hilda can you do a tracking spell or something of that idea" Damon trailed a thumb over the back of my hand and a shivered causing Damon to frown at me removing his hand from mine.

As soon as it was taken away I felt lost I needed Damon just that bit closer to me so I couldn't loose him so he would always be there right next to me right by my side, right where Stefan wasn't.


End file.
